never show your weakness

i was never taught to never show your weakness but over 17 years of my life i've learned to never show that you're weak or vulnerable. For one, you get no respect because people don't think you can handle the truth and also because once people know you're weak they have no mercy and will go in for the kill to take you down. Besides, it's just not cute to cry over everything that happens in the world. I'm glad that i was raised in a GREAT home with great everything to where i dont have to have so many worries because worries show weakness. As i get older, reaching almost 18 whoop!, my mind starts to wonder about the big questions of life- will i get into college, will i find a successful job, will i BE successful, will i find someone to love me, and if i do have kids will they be like me, or atleast raised like me cos that'd be perfect! i know i shouldn't worry about so much of these things because i am only 17 but people keep bugging me about life! one end says what are you doing in the future? you're going to be an adult in less thana year wheres your plans at adriana?! and the other half tells me its okay to not know anything, not do anything for yourself because it'll come around eventually which is not OK it shows me what i dont want to be. always fight for what you want and aint no one near me showing me enough of this fighting power. i dont live in the worst neighborhood ever where i cant walk out the house after dar, but it's not the best place in the world i've shared my number of gunshots up the street from where i'm at or those annoying "hood" kids on the bus tryna fight him her me and everyone else but i wont get into those stories. So i realize where i'm at there's nothing but a bunch of people who are growing up to be nothings and as they say you are only as good as the friends you surround yourself with and i know these people aren't my friends but i see them around so much it's like i do know them. i could probably tell you a stroy about alot of the people in my neighborhood. I hate how at school i'm taught do good so you can get into a ivy league college you'll go places but when i hear about those uppity butt rich kids it's like DANG, im smart but they beat me to all the schools just because where they went. it's hard to keep pushing up to be the super genius i am when all i see around me are people who dont care. it's like they know their predestiny. they're not going to college, half of em don't even go to school! so i think it's okay because most the people look well off without the college education. but despite this whole blog, i know my destination, and it's somehwere at the top. the top may not come for a long while just because i'm making lots of pitstops on the way, traveling, extreme schooling and everything else. but i'ma get there, and my motto i 've adopted for the summer will now be my life motto "do what makes you happy" so everyday i'm going to do what makes me happy, no matter what it is. i hear some inspiring things throughout the day and one chick said at the end of the day it's all about you, now whether or not you did something to someone else (help or harm) it's how you feel about what you did during the day at the end. if you feel bad about someting you commited it's still about you cos you have to learn how to cope with what you did and viceversa. so today i'ma go do something that makes me happy, help a friend out, go to the beach find someone to play golf with me. i dont know, but i know i can't surround myself with unaccomplished, unwilling people.

i only let my weakness out once in a blue mooon, and look i think it's a full moon this week =)