growing up

i'm not up on the computer buzz lately... beeen pretty out the looop.
i've come to the realization summer's changed me, i think i'm growin up. i've noticed my flaws, i'm trying to cope with em and change myself for the better even if i dont want to. it's kind of hard, stick to what i stand for and stop trying to do what others want me to do.
i'm learning to become more independent-
you dont want to kick it? that's fine i can go out on my own and have fun.
you won't ask a question for me? that's coo, ill stand up and possibly embarass myself.
you think what i'm doing is wrong? that's also coo, that's why i'm doing me and learnign from my mistakes. ill learn eventually, dont worrry sweetie :)

and a big accomplishment i'm trying to reach is to be more openended and stop"judging" my friends. if you're reading this and don't know me, dont worry i'm not rude or stuck up... i'ma coo kid go look at my myspace! haha. but this is to my friends, i keep watchingtalk shows(tyra!) and i see so many episodes of others judging eachother and it has harsh effects on others self esteem. so to my friends, i'm sorry, truly am. ill try REAL hard to stop crucially judging you for what you do and who you are cos i know i wouldn't someone on me like that. i'm just tryna look out for you, i dont want my bestfriends to be down and out because of soemthing i could've possibly prevented. ill stop! promise. :) well ill try....

AND last one is i'm trying to find my heart... i seem to not have one, or so i've been told. i won't brush stuff off so much. i'm not gonna wear my heart on my sleeve but if it's necesarry i might show you i have a heart and i DO care.... i dont know whats wrong with me, i just dont emotionally attach myself to anythingliving. i just CANT. ill try to open my heart and not my mind or mouth so much.

lets see what happens with all of this....